Linus

Eric and I have often discussed how we divide our lives based on B.M.D and A.M.D which translates to "Before Mommy Died" or "After Mommy Died." We honestly feel like we are living two separate lives in one lifetime. For me, all of high school was B.M.D. and most of college, including graduation, was A.M.D. My job in admissions, my 2nd grade class, and my frienship with Stevi and Joe, all fall into the after category. Very few things left in my life have been a part of both my "lives." Certain friends, like Kate, Ellen, or Paige have known me in both. My greatest tie to my two lives was Ashley. She was with us from the time I was 7 to the time I was 22. So she had 12 years in B.M.D. and 3 years in A.M.D. That is why I always felt losing Ashley would be so devestating, and trust me it was and still is. I loved that cat for most of elementary school through my college years. Ashley was a friend to me through all I can remember of both lives.

Every so often there is an event that occurs that connects my B.M.D. life to my A.M.D life. It does not happen a lot, but when it does there is a special feeling that I get. It's a feeling that I undeniable know is God guiding my life, with a kiss from my mom. For example, when Eric recently went to visit a friend of his who had been in a horrible car accident. His friend was being treated at Stonybrook, which is where we ultimately lost our mom. While we have both been to Stonybrook the school, neither of us have been to the hospital. Eric mentioned the eeriness of the parking garage and all the emotions it sent flooding back through him. Moments like that are like a time machine and suddenly you are re-watching a horror scene, but from your own life. He finished visiting his friend (who is still in the hospital recovering, but doing well. He has a long road ahead of him, but he will fine), and headed out to his car. He looked down at his parking ticket that he was given when he came in. What did the number on his ticket say? 0616 The date immediately looked familar because Mommy passed away on June 16th. Eric being the math brain that he is said the odds of that number occuring were in the millions. A kiss from our mom.

Well, today was another day that we knew she was with us. When my beloved Ashley passed away, I quickly wanted another cat. I was shocked by my own desire for another cat so soon, because I am horrible with things changing, especially in my A.M.D life. Yet, I felt so lonely, especially being in my house alone. In the past when the boys weren't home, I always had Ashley following me around. But when she was gone, I was truly alone in our house a lot. Initially, Eric wasn't ready for another cat and when he explained why it was too painful for him, I knew not to push him on it. Yesterday, was my 23rd birthday and I wanted nothing more than to get a new cat. When I finished opening my gifts, my heart sank a little as there seemed to be no mention of a kitten. Eric left the room and came back with one more gift bag. He told me my last gift was inside. Inside was a few papers stapled together. The first was a picture of my dad's car, a Ford Focus. My dad hates my car and how its always breaking down. He often mentions trading cars with me so my first thought was he was giving me his car. The next page showed driving directions. I hate to drive so this didn't seem like much of a gift. The next page said North Shore Animal League on it. The last page showed three kittens! My wish had come true. My eyes filled with tears as the boys told me they were ready to go get a kitten the next day.

So we headed off for North Shore Animal League, which is where we had gotten Ashley and Graycie many years ago. We walked into the kitten center... and they only had 4, the youngest of which was close to a year old. We were told it wasn't kitten season and to try back in a month or so. We were disappointed, but determined. They gave us a list of other shelters and we started driving and calling around. We were given the same answer everywhere, that it wasn't time for kittens just yet. We didn't even know a kitten season existed and it was so upsetting. Jenna happened to call us as our hopes were depleting. She mentioned an adoption center called Save a Pet, in Port Jeff. We called there... and they had kittens! It took us about an hour to get there. They had 8 kittens, 4 boys and 4 girls. The girls weren't ready to be adopted yet, so we looked at the boys. The litter actually looked a lot like Graycie. We instantly found ourselves drawn to one with dark gray fur, with black and brown swirls. Flashback to 1993, my parents and 10 year old Eric and myself at 7 fell in love with two gray cats. You know how animal shelters put names on the cages to keep track of the animals. Well, the names on Ashley and Graycie's cage read "Linus and Lucy." We laughed about those names, especially because they were two girls, but we never forgot it said that. Back to the present time, as we stood in front of the cage with the four boy kittens, we read the names on their cage. They had given them all "L" names. We read the first name, "Louis." We glanced at the second name and what did it say but "Linus!" The woman working there asked if there was one we liked. We pointed to the darker one with the swirls and asked out of curiosity, which name is his. She told us that he was Linus. We knew then and there, he was the cat for us. And how could we even consider naming him anything else, than the name that God, Mommy, Graycie, and Ashley had intended him to have. A kiss from our mom...

Meet our new little boy Linus: