Do you tell your loved ones you love them?

Nothing dramatic or traumatic happened to make me write this post today, but it is something that has been on my mind. Today I spent a great day in the city with one of my best friends Kate. She is moving to another state to start graduate school in less than two weeks. She earned an assistantship at her new school and will be completing her Masters degree in history. I am so proud and excited for her as she embarks on this next journey in her life. There is my selfish side that wants to keep her living right around the corner from me, as she has for most of my life. However, I know in order for her to reach her full potential, this move is a great opportunity and I only want the best for her.

Today Kate and I went to the city and the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Nothing out of the ordinary happened today that was really different from any other time that we have spent together. We felt cultured by visiting the museum, walked over 100 blocks (which is a lot of physical activity for me), fought with a pretzel vender over stale pretzels, and had lots of laughs along the way. At one point today, Kate told me how happy she is that I got a teaching position for the fall. I could feel the sincerity in her voice and I could tell that she really meant it. It made me feel so good to know how much she cares about me. I just started reflecting a lot on our friendship on our train ride home. I know she is leaving soon, and we won’t be able to have these types of days as frequently as we do now. It really made me realize that I shouldn’t take our friendship for granted. We will probably have to work harder at it to keep it strong because of the states that will be between us. That being said, I refuse to let the distance alter our friendship. I intend to use phone calls, emails, letters, etc to keep in touch with her as much as possible. I am praying that our friendship will only be strengthened by our separation. So when I got home today, I sent Kate a quick message online. I told her how much I enjoyed today, and I told her that I love her. I wanted to make sure she knows that I appreciate her and that she is an important part of my life.

As close as my family is, we were never the type to constantly tell each other that we love one another. Some families tell each other that they love one another each time they leave the house, or before they hang up their phones, etc. That wasn’t something that we usually did. However, I think it wasn’t necessary for us, because it was just a matter of fact between myself, my brother, and my parents. Our actions were louder than our words, and we didn’t need to constantly tell one another orally. Despite this, the last time I saw my mom before she passed away, I wanted to hear her say it. She was having trouble speaking and was fading in and out of consciousness. However, before I left her room for the last time I told her that I loved her and asked if she loved me. She nodded because that was all she was able to do. I was happy with our final moments together, but in retrospect, we didn’t really need to say that we loved each other. We both knew how strong that love was, and I still know how strong that love is. I can feel it all around me sometimes.

After my mom passed away, I became obsessed with two things: taking pictures and saying I love you. I have a really nice picture of myself and my mom from my brother’s graduation party. It was taken about a month before my mom passed away, and it is the last picture I have of the two of us. I love that picture and I am so glad that I have it. So I started taking pictures with everyone that I love, because if I am to lose someone, at least I’ll have those pictures to hold on to. It might seem like a silly back up plan, but it is something that I do because I learned how quickly we can lose a loved one. The other thing I have done is tell the people I love that I love them. I started making a point to tell friends, aunts, uncles, grandparents, co-workers, etc that I love them. I’ve tried to make sure that it isn’t just a superficial statement, but that it has depth behind it. I try to back up my “I love you” with the reasons why I love them. I have done this in writing and verbally to a lot of people who are important in my life. So if you gotten an “I love you” from me or receive one in the future, know that it is something I have thought about and it is something that I truly mean.

So overall, I am going to try and make sure my loved ones know that I love them. I hope all of my friends and family know how I feel about them, and if they don’t, then that is something that I need to work on. Think about those you love. Do they know that you love them either through your words and/or action?

“Faithful friends are a sturdy shelter: whoever finds ones has found a treasure.”
Sirach 6:14

“As iron sharpens iron, a friend sharpens a friend.”
Proverbs 27:17

“Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God.”
1 John 4:7