"Everybody’s different, not everybody's the same"

“Everybody’s different, not everybody's the same.” These sage words came from my Grandma when she was visiting from Florida last year. In an attempt to explain some of the crazy characters in our family, she actually made a really good point. She repeated this phrase so much while visiting us that it actually became a bit of a joke. However, when you really think about it, it makes a lot of sense.

We are all guilty of judging others. (Please note I am not referring to the larger scale things, such as race, gender, or political views. While those are definitely important issues, that is not what I am centering this post on.) I am talking about the smaller everyday differences, that we are quick to judge others about. Who hasn’t looked and laughed at someone in eccentric clothing? You might think “Did she even look in the mirror before leaving the house this morning?” Have you ever pointed out to a co-worker the dorky awkwardness of a fellow co-worker? Have you laughed at his mannerisms and what you consider a pathetic social life? Have you ever been annoyed by someone else’s spending habits? Did you wonder why he spends so much when he makes so little, or why she is so cheap if she makes so much?

Think about the number of “little” judgments you make each and everyday. You might make fun of your crazy Grandma while talking with your cousin, make jabs with your co-workers while the office loser is at lunch, and question the choices made by others while gossiping with your friends. Now you might say that your daily chit-chat sessions spent talking about others aren’t hurting anyone. You never directly say these mean things to the person’s face. So what they don’t know won’t hurt them, right? Wrong. First of all, gossip never accomplishes anything productive. All it does is leave the door open for someone to get their feelings hurt. You might think the person you are talking about isn’t around, but they could be right behind you. Maybe your co-worker forgot her car keys in her desk, heads back to the office, and walks into all of you standing in a circle making fun of her. Try working your way out of that one. Is it worth gossiping if you have to be constantly looking over your shoulder to make sure the victim doesn’t hear you?

Did you ever think about why people do the things they do? First there are biological and environmental factors that turn us into the people that we are. You may be the type who says, “I will never become like my mother” but I can guarantee you are a lot more like her than you think. Our upbringing plays such a large role in why we act the way that we do. Maybe she is so tight with her money because she grew up during the depression when her family barely had enough to eat. Maybe the guy who has those funny feminine traits was raised by his grandma and has picked up a lot of her mannerisms. Maybe she dresses that way because she is in a punk rock band on the weekends. And maybe your neighbor who seems unnecessarily mean is going through a tough time. All I’m trying to say is that when we make these harsh judgments, we usually don’t know the whole story.

I am not trying to condemn anybody else because I am incredibly guilty of this myself. I have joined right in on the laughter when making fun of someone else. I have judged other people’s choices, mental incompetence, and physical unattractiveness. However, those types of jokes are cheap jokes, because they are being made at someone else’s expense. Just think of how you would feel to be the center of attention at a family gathering, at work, or at a party. However, you’ve earned this honor for a negative reason, such as your hairstyle, your gestures, or choice of car. It doesn’t seem so funny anymore does it…?

Alright, now none of us, including myself, are going to be able to completely stop judging others. Let’s face it; there are some interesting people out there. And sometimes, purely out of curiosity we might mention their antics to a friend. But I am going to make a serious effort to try and think a little bit before I start to blab. I know that I hate it when others say things about me, such as “Why does she worry so much?” That’s a phrase I have had frequently said in front of me. And I would hate to know what’s said when I’m not within earshot. Think about some of your flaws and what others could point out about you. Maybe she thinks it’s crazy that you would rather spend a Friday night crocheting, than going out to a club. Maybe he thinks your crazy for enjoying going to the gym and working out. Maybe they can’t understand your love for historical literature, instead of TV watching. None of us are perfect and we all have our little quirks. That’s just a part of what makes us special and unique, and I think God made each of us just the way that we are suppose to be. When it comes down to it, “Everybody’s different, not everybody’s the same…”

“What dainty morsels rumors are- but they sink deep into one’s heart.” Proverbs 18:8

“Without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down.”
Proverbs 26:20

“If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.”
James 1:26

Why do you pass judgement on your brother or sister? Or you, why do you despise your brother or sister? For we will all stand before the judgement seat of God. Romans 14:10