The Windy City: delays, spices, and love

I am back from Chicago. Here is the recap of how it all went down...

Day 1: Departure

On Friday I woke up around 4am, since Jubin's family and I had a 6am flight. We got on the first plane, which unfortunately never took off due to sleeting in Chicago. We desperately tried to switch our flight. At one point when Jubin's dad was flustered he asked for my boarding pass in Malayalam, before realizing he needed to speak English. We shared a good laugh over that. We were able to take a later flight which left Chicago around 9:45, and landed in Baltimore around 12:30, but we were delayed there for a while and eventually landed in Chicago. There was only a 2 hour window in Chicago before it got super foggy, so we were really blessed that we were able to get there. Everyone's main objective was to get Jubin there and then we would worry about the rest of us. We got a standby flight for her at 9:15. Right as we were about to board the 9:45 flight, they called her for the earlier flight which was also a direct flight. She ran to that gate, only to be told they were wrong and that the plane was full. She ran quickly back to our gate to rejoin us. She had called saying she was coming back, and I admired her dad as he stood at the front of the plane telling the pilot and flight attendants, "You will not leave without my daughter. This plane will not takeoff without her. It is not her fault this happened." She did eventually make it, after getting re-entered in the system, since her boarding pass became invalid because the computer thought she was on the other flight. So despite the fact that a two hour plane ride took ten hours from start to finish, we were just so happy to get there. Other members of the family and friends were re-routed all day. 100 flights were cancelled to O'Hara airport and 35 were cancelled to Midway on Friday. The pastor who was leading the engagement was one of the people that we didn't know if he would make it. That was upsetting but Jubin's family has so much faith that they knew it would be ok. Her sister and brother-in-law's flight from Buffalo was cancelled, and there weren't anymore flights for Friday or Saturday. So they decided to drive around eight or nine hours overnight to get there. They arrived around 6 am on Saturday, but everyone was so happy they made it. Despite all the weather problems most of the guests were able to make it to the ceremony.

When we arrived we went to Jonathan's parents' house where his mom had a lot of food waiting for us. We all gobbled it up, before realizing that was just a snack and that we were going for dinner next. One of the members of Jonathan's family's church had a huge gathering with lots of food. This allowed time for a lot of us to meet one another before the ceremony.

Day 2: Jubin and Jonathan's Engagement Ceremony

Jubin and I shared a hotel room and we woke up as early as we could the morning of the ceremony. We worked on her makeup together, and then her future sister-in-law Joanne picked us up for Jubin's hair appointment. They pulled her hair up and back into a bun. She wore a beautiful red sari. Jubin is so naturally beautiful, and doesn't need to do much with her hair or makeup. But it was a special occassion, and in the words of Jon, she looked "so beautiful." I sat with some of the youth from the church who I met the night before for most of the ceremony. The ceremony began at 11am. We had some small appetizers and then the ceremony began. In the beginning, there was a lot of song and prayer as everyone worshipped God for bringing the two of them together. The couple sits on high chairs on a stage, while different speakers and singers go to the podium. Then, the presiding pastor spoke to everyone introducing Jonathan and Jubin to everyone. This pastor actually baptized Jubin in her teens and is the head of Jon's church in Florida. That is just one example of many of the connections that have been discovered about these two. Then both fathers went up to the podium and spoke about how they want their children to be married. Jubin's dad announced the wedding date officially for June 27th. Then Jon, Jubin, and their dads signed a betrothal agreement. After that, we had some dinner, and more prayers and songs. Then an elder from Jonathan's church spoke on his behalf explaining how he is such a gentle and caring man and how he will make a great husband. Two of his friends also shared stories about how great he is. Then, Jubin's cousin gave a tearful description of how she and Jubin have been together for their whole lives, including their births and early childhoods in India. Both girls actually lived in India with their grandparents when their parents first moved to America, so they share a special bond. Then, both fathers introduced their family members to one another. Jubin's dad included me in his introductions, and I beemed because I felt so honored to be considered an honorary family member. After the ceremony, there were lots of prayers and well wishes for the happy couple.

After the ceremony, we went back to our rooms to change our clothes. Then all the youth went ice-skating. I think we all enjoyed a little freedom and leisure time. There was a lot of flooding in Chicago so the parking lot was deep with water. We were all slipping walking in. I didn't fall fully, but I caught myself and got mud on my coat, pocketbook, and sneakers. Oh well, it will wash off. I haven't been skating in a long time and it felt great out on the ice. Poor Jubin and her siblings have never gone, so they mostly hugged the walls, but I think we all had a good time. Then we went out for pizza which was delicious. We had been eating non-stop Indian food so I really enjoyed that!

Day 3: Church and relaxing

We went to Jonathan's family's church and it was a great experience. I was so tired and it was really long (from 9:45-12:00), but it was a great service. The Indian women need to wear veils to cover their heads. Jubin explained it not as a means of submission but rather out of respect that Jesus is the head of the church and the men are the church leaders. First, Jon's dad prayed, then Jonathan preached a little bit and his message was great. Then they have an open forum of sorts, where any male can call out a song they want everyone to sing, or speak a prayer or message. Then the members share the bread and the wine. I didn't take any since it wouldn't be proper being I am Catholic, but it wasn't a big deal. Then the guest pastor from Florida shared a message from the Bible. At one point, I missed which verse he said and I looked at the Jubin's mom's Bible and the women next to me, but both ladies had Bibles written in Malayalam, one of the languages of South India. It was really funny. Then we shared some delicious lunch together and cake for one of the uncle's birthdays and a cake for Jon and Jubin.

After that, I went with Jubin and Jon to pack up since I would be staying at a relative's house for the last night, since our flight was so early. I enjoyed that private time with them. While they are still learning so much about each other, watching them fall in love is beautiful to witness. The way Jubin tries so hard to look good for Jon, the way he looks at her, and the way they tease one another are just a few examples. At one point Jubin was in the bathroom and Jon and I were talking about my ability to make Jubin laugh uncontrollably. He told me he is a little jealous and has been trying his hardest to make her laugh like that too, because he loves to hear her laugh, but that hasn't happened fully yet. I told him he'll get there, as they get more comfortable with one another.

Then we rented a movie to watch at Jonathan's house. Myself, Jubin, Jonathan, her sister, brother-in-law, Jon's sister, brother, and cousin all watched the latest Mummy movie. His mom is so sweet and set-up all kinds of snacks for us. The funny thing was most of us fell asleep halfway through since we were all so exhausted.

After the movie, we went back to the house where Jubin's parents were staying. That family cooked us a nice dinner, and we just enjoyed spending time together again. It was a little awkward for me that night, because that was the house I was staying in without Jubin. We were so used to being constantly together that when it was time for her to leave, she forgot and told me to put my shoes and coat on. We hugged and I told her we need to get together before school starts for her again. I went to bed soon after that.

Day 4: Heading home

I tried to find an alarm clock on my cell phone but I couldn't figure it out. I set my I-pod instead but I must have done something wrong because it never went off. Jubin's mom said they wanted to leave at 4:45am and that if they didn't see my light on they would wake me. Well she knocked on my door at 4:40 and I scrambled to get ready. I threw on clothes and was ready by 4:50 but we left the house around 5am. We arrived at the airport around 5:30 for our 6:15 flight. The airport was absolutely packed! We waited forever to check our bags and pass through security. We finished at security around 6:10 and ran to through the airport, to the farthest gate. Jubin's brother and dad were able to run ahead of us and hold the plane, but we were pretty much the last ones to get on. We all had to sit separated, but the main thing was we made it and got home safely.

I called Jubin when I got home and she told me she misses me. I told her the same. I got very used to being an honorary Indian these past few days. I love the closeness of their family and how everyone is pretty much almost related to someone else or knows someone that someone else knows, etc. I made some new friends, and was so happy to be there to support someone who has done so much for me. I got to experience what it feels like to be a race minority for the first time in my whole life, and I think it was a good experience to walk in someone else's shoes. I felt a little out of place at points, but everyone we were with tried so hard to make me comfortable, including Jubin and Jon's families, and all of their friends and families. They mostly spoke English in front of me, warned me everytime we ate which foods might be too spicy, and I was always included in their prayers. I also have a deeper appreciation for the Indian Christian culture. I loved how seriously they take their faith. They pray aloud, as a family multiple times a day. Before a meal they bless the food and the hands that made it, before traveling they ask for journey mercies, and I value the respect the children have for their elders. Someone might question a situation like Jubin's, getting engaged to someone after only a few months. But after this weekend I can understand why it works. Their community is so strong and tight-knit, that if you find someone whose family your family trusts, it will be a good match. They knew enough about each other's families to know that they would work well together. Its hard to understand from an outside perspective, but I think their choices should be respected. They prayed so much about all of it, and their prayers were truly answered from the moment Jubin caught Jonathan's eye. Sure they will have their tough times, like any marriage, but the fact that they have their faith to back them up, I truly believe they will make it through anything. The divorce rate is low if not non-existent in Jubin's community. Some might ask but are they all happy, and I would say yes. I witnessed so many couples, young and old, with so much love and concern for one another this weekend. Because there is a third member in their relationship, God, they really have the strength to make it through anything. They put God first, then one another, and lastly themselves, so I think they may have discovered a formula that works. And in this country where the divorce rate is up around 50% , I think they are doing just fine.

Continued prayers and blessings upon both Jubin and Jonathan, and I am so glad to have had this experience...

Jubin and I on the plane.

The happy couple! Isn't Jubin's sari beautiful!

The honored couple.

Me with the happy couple.

Closer-up

Me and the future bride.
Our close-up.

New friends!

My dinner table.

Look at those smiles!


Jubin's tiarra and all the bobby pins I pulled out of her head after the ceremony! We thought it looked liked a giant spider.

At church the next day.

Back Row- Visamma (Jubin's mom), Jubin, Grace (Jon's mom)
Front Row- George (Jubin's dad), Jonathan, Jon's dad (I don't know how to spell his name :)