Finger Prick

Our cat Ashley has been going through some health problems. Ashley is fifteen years old and we have had her since I was about the age that my students are now. I remember so clearly the day that we got our twin cats Ashley and Graycie (Graycie past away from cancer when she was only 9, which is pretty young for a cat). The two cats we had prior had passed away. I was pretty young so it didn't really affect me too much. However, when Graycie passed away we were all devastated. My mom read us a poem "The Rainbow Bridge" about how our pets wait for us in heaven. It was beautiful and I really do believe it.

So Ashley hadn't been feeling too well. Months prior she had eaten a poisonous plant. That was a really scary time for all of us, but she was fine. About two weeks ago, she was very weak and not really eating for a couple of days. Previously, she had seemed fine. She would throw up sometimes, but it was only in the mornings and it seemed to lessen since we started putting her food away overnight. We were all very concerned that she wasn't eating, because normally she loves eating. I came home the day before we took her to the vet with the most expensive tuna fish I could find, something normally irresistible to a cat. At first she wouldn't even look at. I fell to my knees sobbing, and I pleaded with her, telling her she had to eat. Next thing I knew she started to gobble it up! We knew we had to take her to the vet anyway, because she still wasn't herself. She was diagnosed with a slew of problems: anemia, a thyroid problem, a heart murmur, and kidney problems. All of a sudden she had all these troubles. Now she has to take medicine for her thyroid each day. She has a new food that she has to eat because of her kidney problems. The biggest problem is the kidney trouble. She was dehydrated because they are not functioning fully, and basically her condition is not curable. It will only get worse over time (there is no saying how much time it will take) but there is something we can do to help her and make her more comfortable. The vet told us she needs fluid treatments through a needle and portable IV every 3rd day. The vet taught the three of us how to do it, so we wouldn't need to bring her back each time. Basically, she needs to have a needle inserted into the back of her neck, and the fluid has to go down the tube into her.

We tried it last night and we failed miserably. My dad and I tried it together first. I held her down and he inserted the needle. I tried to hold her down but it was so hard. I held her still while he put the needle in, but once the fluid started dripping she jumped and I couldn't hold her as she clawed out of my arms. My dad quickly took the needle out so she wouldn't hurt herself. We decided to wait for Eric to get home to try again. First we had to change the dirty needle, but we had trouble getting it off the IV. Eric tried to pull it off and he pricked himself! My dad flipped out because he thought Eric wasn't being careful enough and he panicked over whether something would happen to him. Honestly, it could have happened to any of us. While my dad was busy freaking out, I quickly washed his finger with antibacterial liquid, and then I put Neosporin and a band-aid on it. We also squeezed out a lot of blood from his finger. Then I called the doctor who said we did the right thing and just to keep an eye on it, to make sure it doesn't swell up from an infection. He said the main thing is that Ashley doesn't have anything contagious. My dad eventually calmed down and so far Eric is fine. But what a disaster! The three of us are so bad at stuff like this. It probably would be hard for anyone to do, but a lot of people do this for their cats at home. In fact, kidney trouble is a major problem for older cats.
We didn't want to have to bring her to the vet for her treatments, but that is what we are going to have to do. She sits still for them because she is petrified, but at least they will be able to do it. It is just too difficult for us to do. So tomorrow she will get her second treatment.

I hope and pray that we will have Ashley for a long time. If and when something does ultimately happen to her, we are all going to be a mess. My dad and my brother don't openly cry too often, but when we found out all her troubles, we all wept for a long time. As we all know, I am really bad with change, especially since my mom passed away. I struggled a lot with changing my closet, getting rid of her car, and getting a new dryer. Ashley is more than a cat to us, she is a family member. She greets each of us at the door each day, follows us all around, and sleeps with us at night. She never misses an opportunity to sit on one of our laps and she sits under the table when we eat. She likes to sit on my yarn or my lap when I crochet. Cats sometimes get a bad rap, but Ashley truly has personality. She makes us all so happy when we come home and see her. She is also a reminder of when our home was a happier place. My mom used to make this cute little voice as Ashley and Graycie's translator. She would talk for them. Ashley and Graycie were always included in all of our birthdays and holidays. Her name was always signed to any cards we have given each other for our birthdays. Overall, she seems to be a lot better for the time being. She actually really likes her prescription food, and she is much livelier, like her usual self. We have all been praying for her constantly and hopefully she will stay well.

My Parents and Ashley

Aren't they cute?


Ashley's Close-up.



Ashley loves to sit with us. This is on my birthday.

Ashley on my bed with one of my elephants.

Ashley and me after a day of student-teaching.

Ashley and the ladybug puppet I had to make for school.


Ashley is only allowed outside if she is sitting with one of us.

Ashley laying down in the screen-house.


Ashley on my bed again with one of my baby blankets.


Us again.

Ashley's 15th Birthday.

Eric and Ashley on her birthday.

Ashley helping me crochet.


Ashley wearing my jacket.


Ashley sitting on the blanket my mom crocheted for her.

Ashley and I on the morning of Christina's wedding rehearsal.

Ashley and I after Stevi and Joe's Wedding.

Crochet for a Cure Fall 2008

There were positives and negatives about this year's Crochet for a Cure. There were parts that I was happy with and parts that I was very disappointed about. I think maybe I had too high of expectations, so the fall was that much harder.


Let me start with what did go well. I do not want to seem ungrateful because I was blessed to have friends and family who do care. Stevi's family did so much and I am very appreciative of their efforts. They let me use their home, Stevi and Ripley made so many crocheted goods, Joe helped put prices on the items, Bryan baked an assortment of delicious dessets, and Teri made flower arrangements to give to high donors. The small amount of people that came were incredibly generous because we made $314. I am so thankful that they took some time out of their Saturdays to spend some time with me, and support me in a cause that means so much to me. So from the bottom of my heart, I thank those who gave their time, money, and hearts to me last night.


I was also disappointed by a lot of my friends and family. I do not have this event to make money for myself or Stevi. We take 50% of the profits, but I guarantee that does not cover the price of our yarn or our time. We do it because we want to honor my mom. I want to do something, no matter how small it is, to make a difference. And yet, I was left feeling that a lot of people just didn't care. I can't tell you how many people did not rsvp, many of whom were my own relatives. I am not talking about only one or two people, because a good portion of my invite list had to be contacted by me. I understand if people couldn't make it, but I can't understand why I had to call and email people prior to the sale to find out whether or not they were coming. I don't think I have ever not responded to an invitation that I have received. Now I understand people live very busy lives. I understand that people may have had plans already, but all I wanted was an accurate head count. But I felt like I had to go out and ask a lot of people on my guest list whether or not they were coming. When I did finally get responses I was at 30 people who were coming, and a whole lot of maybe's which was wonderful! Last year's sale had only 9 participants and I made $289. So I thought this year was going to blow it away! But sadly, out of those 30, only 13 showed up. And out of those 17 who didn't come, only a few were curtious enough to call and say they couldn't make it. Again, I am absolutely understanding if something came up, and a person couldn't attend. What I can't understand is those people who didn't call me to say they weren't coming. One person who told me they were coming and requested a specific item that I scrambled to finish in the last 2 weeks before the sale, didn't show up. I was also annoyed at the senior citizen that my dad brought to the sale. My dad met this women years ago because he volunteers to drive the elderly to a Thanksgiving dinner at a church each year. He is nice enough to check on this 85 year old and make sure she is doing ok. She met my mom when we had her over for coffee and cake a few years ago. So we thought it would be a nice evening out for her. Well, my dad picked her up and dropped her off. We served her desserts and coffee. She talked everybody's ears off and we even wrapped up some cookies for her to take home. And yet she did not give us anything, not even one dollar! Now I understand as a senior she is on a fixed income and all. But I felt like for all my dad does for her she could have given us a little something.

I was also hoping that more of the maybes would make it. Now they were not definite so I understand them not being able to come, but not one out of about 25-30 maybes came. We purposely made it a stop and go event this year, from 7-11 so people could stop by before or after work or their other plans. We left everything out until 11, because we were hoping some more people would come by, but no one else came. None of the mom's whose children I have been teaching religion for 4 years came. None of the people my Dad has worked with for 22 years came! I was just so disappointed by the small turnout and lack of a response overall.

I hope this doesn't seem mean and whiny. And again, I am not trying to pressure anybody and tell them what to do with their money. I know the economy is bad right now, but we offer items priced from $2 up to $30. We try to have something for everyone, so that even someone with not a lot of money can get a little something. I know I shouldn't expect that people have to care about my cause. But you know, it really hurts. I feel like I do what I can for other people. I try to be supportive of other people's events and causes. I guess it just hurts so much because this cause is so personal to me. It's the one thing I feel like I do to keep my mother's memory alive. Stevi and I work are hands to the point of aches and pains to make it all. And I feel like we try to make quality stuff. We put care into each item we make, and I was left feeling that aside from a select few, no one cared about what we were trying to do.

Overall, this is not directed at anyone in particular. I understand that each person had individual circumstances last night and I know things come up. I was disappointed on a whole rather than with individual people. So if anyone is reading this and was unable to make it last night, I am not targeting anyone in particular. I am more upset by people who didn't rsvp initially or the people who told me they were coming, but just didn't show up and didn't call or anything. Again, I apologize if I seem upset, I just wanted so much more from this year's sale, and when my expectations weren't met I was very disappointed. I promise I am not forgetting the good that came out of this event. I just needed to vent a lot of my frustrations and my blog seemed a good place to do it.

Moving forward, here are a few good things.

1. We did make $314 so that is a donation of $157. Since we had so much left over, we took pictures of the 70 items that were left and put them on photobucket. Maybe some of the people who couldn't make it will want to get something. http://photobucket.com/crochet4acure.

2. We might be adding a fourth crocheter to next year's event which will be wonderful.

3. I am going to try and still spread the word, and maybe get our event and the causes of uterine cancer published in some small newspapers or something.

4. I have decided that next year's event will be held at a real craft fair. That way it will be open to the outside public and I won't have to ask people that I know. I will still make everyone aware of when it will be, but I won't be so dependent on their support.

Thank you to anyone who has supported Crochet for a Cure this year or in the past! It really does mean so much to me!

I really did try Mom.... I love and miss you very much!

Little Teacher

I just got off the phone with one of the little girls who inspired me to become a teacher. These four little girls use to live across the street from me. I used to watch/play with them all the time when I was a teenager and they were really little. They moved about five years ago (if not longer) and I miss having them close by. We still talk on the phone a lot and I try to see them around birthdays and holidays. The 3rd child and I are very close. When her younger sister was born, I was a "mother's helper" for their family. I mostly took care of this little girl who was only a toddler, while her mom took care of the new baby. I like to think that summer formed a special bond between the two of us.


She is eight now and just started the third grade. I asked her about school. She told me she really likes her teacher, but she is struggling with spelling and math this year. She never really had trouble in school before, but I am sure she will do well, especially since her teacher is taking her under her wing. She gave me all kinds of suggestions on what to do with my second graders, since she is an expert on second grade, as a brand-new third grader. She gave me some great ideas! She told me about the classroom management plans her teachers have used, lesson plans that she has loved. She even told me about her idea for a Halloween bulletin board by making a huge spider web! I actually took notes. I felt like I was talking with a collegue, not a little girl! She is going to be a great resource for me to get a perspective from someone close in age to my students.

Near the end of our conversation I told her that I loved her. Than I asked her, "Do you want to be a teacher when you grow up? I think you'd be great at it." She paused for a moment, and then said, "Well, I have two choices about what I what I want to be. I really want to be a teacher or..... a fashion designer!"

Alexa and I at her Communion!

My little teacher.

Us being silly!

Fire-proof

So my dad and I went to see that new Kirk Cameron movie, Fire-proof last night. I had no idea what it was going to be about prior to seeing it. I assumed it would have some type of Christian message, since that is the only time my dad wants to go to the movies. I actually really liked it. It was a low budget film, but I thought its message was a good one. And I am not just talking just about the believing in Jesus part, because as we all know, I've already got that one covered. It was also about a young couple and thier struggling marriage. They are headed for divorce when the Cameron's character's father gives him a Love Dare book to help them get back on track. Its filled with suggestions on how to show his wife that he still loves her, by taking the negativity out of his words, suprising her with flowers, or making dinner for her. Even small things like doing the dishes start to show his wife he cares. I don't want to give away the whole movie, but I really do recommend it for any couple. Don't be scared away by the Christian values in it, because the ideas on how to have a lasting marriage are worthwhile. With so many marriages ending in divorce, the idea of listening to your spouse and showing them you care, are good things.

The website affliated with the movie is http://www.fireproofmymarriage.com/. There are tips on how God wants us to love our spouses, as well as a help-line for marriages in trouble. I think the main message is even when the going gets tough, don't give up. People obviously get married for a reason, and in my opinion divorce is too frequently the easy answer. (I am aware that every situation is different, etc etc.) Also, the site is non-demoninational Christian. There is a Catholic section, as well as sponsors from my dad's kind of people, so I found the site to be pretty Christian friendly without preaching a specific ideology, other than love.

I'm inspired!

I know I just posted yesterday, but I just wanted to write a quick note. Did anyone see today's episode of Oprah on breast cancer? I was so impressed by Nancy Brinker who created the Susan G. Komen foundation in honor of her sister who died of breast cancer. For those who don't know Susan died in 1980 at the age of 36. This happened before the time of the pink ribbons and helplines. None of that existed before Nancy. She was diagnosed herself 4 years after her sister passed away. I can't imagine how scary that must of been, and all I kept thinking about was how the efforts of this one woman has changed the face of breast cancer. She said her sister passed away about 30 years ago and yet it still hurts everyday. Despite this, she has made such a difference, she has given women with breast cancer and their families somewhere to turn. There have been times when I wish that my mom had breast cancer instead of uterine cancer because of the huge support network connected with that type of cancer. I know that might seem like an odd thing to say, but uterine cancer is so rare, especially the type my mom had. I feel like my mom and our family really had no where to turn for answers. Maybe someday I will be able to help change that for other woman with uterine cancer and their families'...

Watch this episode of Oprah and I guarantee you will be inspired too!

First-Years

Today I had another new teacher meeting to go to. It was the first time I left my "babies" with someone else. I was thinking about them all day, wondering how they were doing. Wondering if they were being good listeners, and wondering if the sub got through the work I left for her. I guess I will find out tomorrow, although I did have a few parents email me tonight. So I felt a little connected, despite my absence.


These meetings are usually infomative, a little boring, but mostly confirming. I signed up for my retirement plan today. All the reps I spoke with expressed how lucky I am at 22 to be saving for my future. That was a good feeling considering today's economy. It's good to meet with other first-years like myself to hear that they are experiencing some of the same joys and struggles. A common theme among all of us was getting our students to talk less, and working on not spending 24/7 thinking about our classrooms and our students. It's hard not to give into that temptation, because there really is so much to do. I find myself thinking about my students and what needs to be done for the upcoming days a lot. But at the same time, I am trying to save some time for myself. I have been trying to crochet a lot to prepare for the upcoming sale. I have also been watching lots of musicals for my first class for my masters. The book for the class for anyone who's interested is The Education of a WASP. I had no idea what to expect when I first began this book, but I really like it. It is a white Protestant woman and the journey her and her family went through during the civil rights movement. The author doesn't take a negative tone or try to push an agenda. She is just honestly relaying her story, which is very refreshing. This book will make you consider your own pre-conceived notions about race, and it has really made me think about things that I have taken for granted in my whiteness. I recommend it, its an easy read, and it gets you thinking.

Eager to see my 18 shining faces tomorrow...

Happy Birthday Dad!

Yesterday was my dad's 53rd birthday. Eric and I bought him something he never would have expected: a new bike! My dad has been saying for a while that he wanted a new bike, because he used to enjoy riding all the time. Eric bought himself a bike about a month ago, and my dad would occassionally mention that he wished he had a new one so he could go too. So on Thursday Eric and I were on a mission. The first few stores we went to had nothing. Then we went to one more store and found the perfect bike. It was green and it just seemed like exactly what he would want. My dad was volunteering at the nursing home and had no idea we were on this mission. We stuck the bike in Eric's trunk and tied the trunk down. We laughed each time we hit a bump hoping that both the bike and the car would make it through ok. But then my dad called just as were pulling into the driveway. He said he would be home soon. Eric and I ran into the backyard, with a flashlight and managed to stuff the bike in our overcrowded shed. We laughed so hard as we tried to pull the rusty door shut before my dad got home. We made it and he didn't notice a thing.

The next morning, the day of the birthday, Eric moved the bike into our screen room after everyone else had left for work. Then when my dad came home, we presented him with a card. The card was a Spongebob card. (Probably hard to believe but the three of us get such a kick out of Spongebob. We have been watching it for the ten years that it has been on TV and we still find it so funny. There are without a doubt jokes in there that are meant for adults, not kids, but not in a bad way. You just need to know certain things that a kid probably wouldn't get. Its funny, my students will sometimes mention the characters or a specific episode. I play dumb, but I usually know exactly what they are talking about.) Then we pretended like we were going to let our cat, Ashley in the screen room. We guided my dad to the door and told him to look under the tablecloth. He did and was shocked when he saw the bike. He was so excited! He said when he was picturing a bike that he hoped to someday buy, he wanted it to be green. It was the perfect suprise.

I baked a mandarin orange cake for my dad. I had never made this recipe before, but my dad loves creamsicles so it seemed like a good choice. Then we sat down to watch a brand new episode of Spongebob together...

Ashley's ready for the birthday! And her close-up!

Dad's getting ready to peak at his present.

It's a bike!

Trying it out!

Ashley's checking the bikes out! (Eric's is the blue one. Maybe I'll get a new bike so I can ride too!)

Mandarin Orange Birthday Cake!

Happy Birthday Dad!