Job Security

I know the issue of job security is something that a lot of people are facing these days. I guess despite the economy constantly being on the news and it seems to be all people can talk about these days, I kind of thought it was just a lot of hype. I figured it only happened to people making poor choices and that it wasn't going to really affect anyone I know. Well, I have slowly being hearing talk of it happening to friends and family. My dad's cousin commuted to Connecticut everyday for over 20 years was laid off a few months ago. Stevi's husband Joe had gotten his good friend a job at the company he works at doing computer work. His friend was recently laid off, but luckily Joe was spared. Thank goodness with them being new homeowners and all. It seems like everyone is left looking over their shoulder, looking around at their co-workers, wondering who might be next.

I absolutely love where I work. I have been hearing for the past couple of months that our school might not be all that secure. With the economy, people do not want the added expense of sending their children to a private school. I heard these things, but I mostly ignored them. I wasn't hired as a leave replacement, have been giving my all, and I feel like my principal likes me. But if the enrollment isn't there, it isn't there. As of right now my school has two classes per grade, except for Kindergarten. Kindergarten only has 22 students so they made one larger class instead of two smaller classes. There are currently two first grades, but both are kind of small. But I always figured if they kept those two small first grades, they would keep them that way as they headed to 2nd. But now I am honestly not so sure. We had a grim faculty meeting yesterday. It sounds like that one Kindergarten will be 1 first grade, so where does that other teacher go? And the really bad news... we only currently have 9 kindergartners enrolled for next year, and our numbers are usually much higher than that by now. My principal basically said there is no chance for two kindergartens next year, and we'll be lucky if we have one. She also told everyone that they need to be prepared to be switched and moved around based on where there is a need for them. There will be many grade level changes. Even though no one really wants to change grades, that's the reality of where we are at.

I am so upset. I am trying not to worry, but this is bad news. I was the last hired, so as the saying goes, "last hired, first fired." Its not the money, because even though I contribute to my household we would be ok for a little bit if I couldn't work. It is my love for teaching. I love that school, love my principal, I love what I do for a living. I can't imagine doing anything else, and I can't imagine starting the job hunt again. Plus, there just isn't much out there. This job was such a surprise blessing, most of my friends didn't get to teach after graduation. There are hundreds of people who have their teaching degrees on Long Island right now that are subbing, or not working in the schools at all, because the market is just so flooded. I am reflecting and praying about all of this, I know I have been blessed to have been able to teach for one year. I have a meeting with my principal on Tuesday to discuss one of my students, so I am going to ask her to just be honest with me. I will try to get a feel on the situation and see what happens. Please pray for me about all of this, I will be so upset if I don't get asked back next year. I guess I will just have to wait and see and prepare myself for whatever is to come. I must remember my life is in God's hands and he has a plan for me.

It's just that I see my dream slipping through my fingers....

Reading

So Paige requested that I blog, and here it is. I am off from teaching this week, and yet I must admit my students aren't far from my mind. Earlier in the week I worked on report card grades and filled in my plan book. Today I created a reading extra practice binder. I scoured the internet for grade appropriate reading comprehension worksheets, phonics, and sight word practice. I created answer sheets and answer keys to go with it. I am really pleased about how it came out and it is something the kids can use alone or with me. I figure the more practice and reading I expose them to, the better.

My dad recently had me to listen to a podcast of one of his religious radio programs. It was about a man who made it to adulthood unable to read. He emphasized how he waited his whole life for someone to just take the time to teach him to read. He felt the help should have come so much sooner than when he was an adult. He stated repeatedly how reading, writing, and spelling are the essentials to the rest of life. It made me think about my own students and teaching habits. I do feel that I try to do whatever I can for each of my students. I think of them and their learning as individualized. But it is so hard sometimes because there just aren't enough hours in the day. When you enter a classroom, you have a multitude of ability levels. Some kids grasp math really easily, but can't really read or others are great readers, but just can't process math. I meet with kids before the school day starts, or pull kids to the back table at lunchtime for extra practice. I know I do the best I can for these kids, I just hope it is enough. I have witnessed so much progress in each of them, but because it is my first year, I wonder if they are where they need to be.

I have two students in particular who really have learning struggles. One has dyslexia and really couldn't read or write at the beginning of the year. She was already left back once in the past, but was still so behind. Yet, I have really seen her abilities soar. She is still below grade level, but she is reading and writing more. Another student hated school before he came to my class. His mom told me how I have increased his enthusiasm and I have seen him grow leaps and bounds too. But he too is still below grade level. But I need to remind myself that I am giving then all I've got. I actually recently pleaded with my principal to pick him for a scholarship offer we got from St. Joseph's for a Saturday academic enrichment program. My insistence worked, because she told me she trusted my judgement and we got him into the program. It hasn't started yet, but I hope that any extra little bit will help.

Think about how necessary the reading and writing process is. Can you imagine trying to get through life without these skills? There is a bumper sticker that reads "Can you read this? If yes, thank a teacher." Its so true, I tend to forget my own teachers who have helped me over the years, because I never really struggled in school. But there leadership, along with the dedication of my parents got me where I am today. To think back to my first or second grade self, breaking letter sounds apart and putting words together. And now, I am an avid, quick reader, and I absolutely love to read. So I am grateful to the teachers who helped me along the way, and I hope that I am helping my students. I am actually really eager to know that when we go back to school after the break, we will have a full month without any holidays. I want to use that time to get my kids thinking and reading as much as possible...

Catholic Schools Week

I have been meaning to blog about Catholic Schools Week! It was such a great week for my school and I would love to share with all of you what it was all about. Here are parts of my journal entries for the week. It is things like this that really make me even happier that I work in a Catholic School. The money is less than public school, but look at what we gain...

Open House (Sunday): We went into the school for a few hours today. I think it went well. We just had to stand by our room and be friendly to prospective families. Not too many people talked to me, but it looked like a lot of Kindergartners were there, which is a good thing for our school.

Day 1 (Monday): Service in our Community- The mayor of Patchogue, who is actually a graduate of our school came and spoke to the whole school. My class was well behaved thankfully. Then the Make a Wish representative came and showed us a video. She spoke to us about the child we are sponsoring, Gabriella. She is 12 years old and has spine abifida with a tethered cord. She wants to go to Disney World with her family. We raised $185 from selling stars for $.50 The kids were really touched by what we are doing. The book fair was today too. The kids are writing to celebrities for writer's workshop this week. They are so excited which is good because I want them to love writing. Overall, it was a great day. I hope they keep up the good behavior.

Day 2 (Tuesday): Service in our Students- Today was switch day! The kids dressed like teachers and we dressed like the kids. J had an argyle cardicgan and a bun and looked just like me. I wore a cheerleading uniform from one of the 8th graders. Diana did too and Katie wore a real school uniform. The kids loved it! We did stop everything and dance. H danced with me and we had so much fun. I let the kids teach a little too. I gave them bookmarks and certificates. I baked them brownies and wrote their names on them. After school, we hung up 469 Make a Wish stars.

Day 3 (Wednesday): Service in our Nation- Today we dressed down in red, white, and blue for $1.00 The money went to buy phone cards for the troops. It snowed early in the morning. I wanted a delayed opening, but we didn't have one. The roads were really slippery. The way home was better because the rain washed it away. We had a school prayer service and each class made red, white, and blue prayer chains. We connected them all and prayed and sang together.

Day 4 (Thursday): Service in our Vocations- Today a deacon came and spoke to the 2nd grade about service projects they can do. Then one of the parents came in and spoke about her career as a nurse. She took their blood pressures, pulses, and listened to their heart beats. She was great but the kids were a little wild once she left. I took a little recess away which seemed effective, because they were good the rest of the day. In the afternoon, we made Valentines for the nursing home. They came out really cute.

Day 5 (Friday): Service in our Teachers, Staff, and Volunteers- Today we dressed in mismatch clothes. I looked crazy! I had a striped shirt, under a polka dot blouse, a striped skirt with black leggings and striped knee socks. Since it was teacher appreciation day, we had an hour luncheon that the parents cooked for us. Diana won the raffle, I was happy for her. Tonight was the teachers vs. 8th graders charity volleyball game for our Make a Wish child. We had t-shirts made with our names. I got number 3 since that was Mommy's lucky number (her birthday was March 3rd). We used a volleyball because it was easier. We lost 22-20, but it was great! We raised over $1,000 for Gabriella. Two of the moms came over and spoke to Daddy about how much they love me as their children's teacher. That made me feel really good. At one point I heard them tell him to tell his wife how much they love me. I think that made us both sad. Afterwards a few of us went to Chili's.

Sunday: All of the teachers and a lot of the families went to church as a school community today. It was a very pretty church and they announced us as a faculty, before we walked in. It was nice to be all together. I saw some of my kids and they were excited to see me outside of school. They had bagels and doughnuts for us after and it was a great close to Catholic Schools Week!

Overall, it was a great week. We did so many service activities, prayed together, laughed together, and loved one another! I really do love where I work!

Personalized Brownies

Diana and I as cheerleaders!

Diana, Katie, and I

Presenting the Make a Wish Check for $1,000.

Our gym decorated for Make a Wish!

Email forward

This is not an original post, but my aunt sent me this really inspiring email that I felt my blog friends would love. I will be writing once this week is over to catch you up on the festivities of Catholic Schools Week.

A GREAT RECIPE FOR 2009. . .
1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.

2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Talk to God about what is going on in your life. Buy a lock if you have to.

3. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, 'My purpose is to__________ today. I am thankful for______________'

4. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.

5. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli , almonds & walnuts.

6. Try to make at least three people smile each day.

7. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vam pires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

8. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid that is broke.

9. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

10. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

11. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

12. You are not so important that you have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

13. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.

14. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

15. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

16. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years or even tomorrow will this MATTER!

17. Forgive everyone for everything.

18. What other people think of you is none of your business.

19. GOD heals everything - but you have to ask Him.

20. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

21. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch!!!

22. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

23. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: I am thankful for__________. Today I accomplished_________.

24. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.

25. When you are feeling down, start listing your many blessings. You'll be smiling before you know it.

Goodnight my love

Today around 9:15am, my beloved Ashley, my little baby, passed away. She had really been struggling these past few weeks. She wasn't really eating and could no longer go to the bathroom on her own. When I came home on Friday, Eric and my dad were around her. She was really weak. Things only got progressively worse throughout the weekend. She had trouble getting up and she seizured a few times. It was so sad and scary. I didn't go anywhere all weekend except to church really and I stayed by her side. Last night, she was so weak and couldn't move and we didn't think she recognized us anymore. I knelt down and kissed and petted her. She meowed three little meows, so I knew she knew it was me. She hadn't meowed in days, and I believe she was saying "I love you." I wanted to be with her when she passed, but Ashley had other ideas. She loved us all so much, and I think she knew how scared Eric and I were. When we woke up this morning, she was having a lot of trouble breathing, and even stopped breathing a few times. I had to leave for work around 7:15. I wish I could have taken off to be with her today, but I just don't have that kind of job flexibility, plus I had no plans for a sub. Eric really struggled to watch her like that, and left finally around 9:10. My dad stayed with her and literally minutes later, she passed on.

To say my heart is breaking is an understatement. I was with her all weekend and I cried through most of it. My dad stayed home from work all day today. When I got home, I had a little hope maybe she was still alive. When he told me she was gone, I yelled and sobbed. I really hurt in a way like I lost a best friend. We all really loved her that much. In the words of my dad, "This is going to be really rough." I agree. We are trying to remember the good times and that she is not in pain anymore, but it really, really hurts. My boys don't cry often but we all bawled. We all feel like our family is shrinking even more. I keep thinking I see her everywhere, but it is not her. I have been carrying around the little blanket my mom had crocheted for her that I have always kept on my bed. I feel so depressed right now, I don't even know how I made it through work today. My only consolation is I know Ashley knew how much she was loved. Last night I sang to her the song "Goodnight my love." It is a song my mom used to sing to me when I was little when she was putting me to bed. I sang it to her again right before we buried her in the backyard. I am going to write her name on a little rock and we are going to get some flowers tomorrow. I found the album my mom made me when Graycie, Ashley's twin, passed away about 6 years ago. There are so many beautiful pictures in there of the two of them and all of us. My favorite one is of me, at the age of 7 cradling Ashley in my arms when she was a kitten. I keep looking at them even though they make me cry, but they remind me of when happier times existed here.

Ashley, I love you so much and someday we will be together in heaven again. For now, enjoy sitting on Mommy's lap. You're the best girl in the world.


"Good Night My Love (Pleasant Dreams)"
Goodnight, my love
Pleasant dreams and sleep tight, my love
May tomorrow be sunny and bright
And bring you closer to me
Before you go
Please remember I need you so
And this love I have for me
Will never go cold
If you should awake in the still of the night
Please have no fear
Just close your eyes
Then you realize
That my love will watch over you, dear, always
Goodnight, my love
Pleasant dreams and sleep tight, my love
May tomorrow be sunny and bright
And bring you closer to me
If you should awake in the still of the night
Please have no fear
Just close your eyes
Then you realize
That my love will watch over you, dear, always
Goodnight, my love
Pleasant dreams and sleep tight, my love
May tomorrow be sunny and bright
And bring you closer to me


Rainbow Bridge
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge. When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable. All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind. They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster. You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart. Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together.... Author unknown...

Ashley May 22, 1993- January 12, 2008

Divine Connections

I am really tired so I am not going to write anything too long this evening, but I wanted to talk about connections, in particular, divinely inspired connections. I truly believe with all my heart that God plays a big role in who we meet and interact with in our lives. While I know it would be hard to convince a skeptic that these chance meetings are nothing more than coincidences, I am going to do my best to prove my point. I think when you are a believer, there is this feeling that comes over you, that you just feel inside, that you know there was someone or something larger than yourself that makes things happen the way that they do. I am going to give a few examples of these divine connections that have occurred in my own life.

1. My neighbor Ellen: I really feel like she lives next door to my family for a reason. Yes, you could have good or bad neighbors, but Ellen really is an extra special neighbor. We have lived next door to each other since I was about 5 years old. Her son and my brother are the same age and went through all of school together, and then they both attended college together. We almost moved from our current home twice, but something always stopped us from doing so and I am so thankful for that. When I was in 4th grade, we almost moved to Maryland because my parents thought it would be an easier and cheaper lifestyle there. I know they were worried about moving without having jobs, but I don't know exactly what made them change their minds so completely and so quickly. Then, one or two summers before my mom passed away, they considered moving again. We put our house up for sale, and we seriously started looking at houses in the area. Our current home needed a lot of repairs, and my parents wanted to explore their options. Again, I can’t name a specific reason, but again we felt compelled to stay. And I am so thankful we did. I know I have talked about Ellen's kindness towards us, and how she has us over for holidays. But it is so much more than that. Ellen was the one who had me over for pizza and comforted me when my mom was first diagnosed. Ellen was the one who drove Eric and me back and forth to the hospital when things got really bad. And Ellen was the one who told me that my mom was going to die within a matter of days, when I can honestly say I never thought that would happen. Ellen was the one who held me while I sobbed after I had a bout of hysterics and screamed at a residency doctor in the Oncology Ward. And Ellen was the one who helped me plan my mother's funeral by helping me pick a funeral home. Ellen is the one who became my confidant when I found myself living with two boys and want to escape and talk with a female. I don't think we stayed here by accident. God gave me Ellen for a reason…

2. My counselor for life Paige: I met Paige with my mom when I was a high school junior. I wanted to learn more about my dream college, St. Joseph's because I heard they had a great teaching program, and I knew I was destined to become a teacher. My mom and I sat with her, with our oodles of questions, not to mention numerous phone calls later. Paige patiently answered us, and I knew that this was the school and the program for me. I started school and would occasionally see Paige in the hallway and we would say a quick hello. The summer after my sophomore year of college, I started working at a medical office that I absolutely hated. You all know the story because I have said it before, but I really hated that place. On a whim after buying my books for the upcoming semester, I put my name down on a list to try and get a work study position at the college. I knew my mom had been a work study when she went to college and she loved it. I prayed about my work situation because it was making me a nervous wreck and I really wanted to get out. Well, long story short, Paige saw my name on that list and told her co-workers in the Admissions Office to hire me. Paige called me personally at home to offer me the position. I really did burst into tears after getting off the phone with her. Not only was I super relieved to be able to quit my other job, but I really felt like Paige calling me was a gift from God and my mom. And as you all, my admissions co-workers will always have a special place in my heart. Just when I was missing the main woman in my life, I was given about 20 new females ranging in age from 18-60 with whom I could talk to daily. Even though I don't work there anymore, Paige is still a big part of my life. She encouraged me not to give up when I was having trouble getting a teaching position and then I landed the job I dreamed about my whole life. She supports me so much when it comes to Crochet for a Cure. And Paige always makes me feel that I can do anything I put my mind too. God gave me Paige for a reason...

3. My friend Jubin: Jubin joined my elementary school after she moved to the United States from India. We were casual friends in elementary school, but Jubin's easygoing nature pretty much made her friends with everyone. We had classes together in junior high and high school and often sat near each other on the bus. I remember one time we were sitting on the bus and Jubin asked me how I thought people got to heaven and whether or not I thought I was going to heaven. She took out her Bible and talked to me about the Gospels. I was raised a Catholic and attended church every Sunday, but there was something inspiring about Jubin's trust in God. We would occasionally have these kinds of conversations on the bus, and would pray together if we were nervous over upcoming tests, but these moments never left the school bus. After we graduated high school, I hadn't spoken or seen Jubin. We were both staying on Long Island to go to college, but we went to different schools. Plus, we were never got together outside of school. About a month after my mom passed away, out of the blue, Jubin called me. She said I had been on her mind a lot and something just kept telling her to call me. I said to her, "Oh I guess who heard about my mom." She said, "No, what about your mom?" I told her that my mom had passed away about a month ago. She said she had not heard anything about what happened at all, but that she kept thinking about me and had prayed about calling me. She was a little apprehensive to call me, because we hadn't spoken, but she couldn't shake the feeling that she needed to make that call. And my God, I am so thankful she did. We made plans to get together and we met at the library. We read the Bible and prayed together, and I just felt very at peace with seeing her. We started getting together more frequently, at each other's homes. We would pray and read the Bible, but we quickly went from acquaintances to close friends. I always tease her because sometimes we get so busy talking about anything and everything, that our Bible's don't get open. But we always pray before ending our time together and it truly is one of those moments where you feel God in the room. We have now been close for a few years. Even though we are both really busy sometimes, with me teaching and her in medical school, we always make sure to keep in touch, even if it is just mentioning prayer requests we have for each other. Now, Jubin is getting married this summer and I am both thrilled and honored to be one of her bridesmaids. God gave me Jubin for a reason…

Overall, these 3 ladies crossed paths with me for a reason. None of them are blood related to me, and yet they are sisters that God has given me.

Also, my website is official!!! Please visit www.crochetforacure.com to check out the furthering of my dreams, to play a small role in the fight against cancer. Did I mention that Paige and I had been trying to find affordable and user friendly companies to host our websites? It was a goal for both of us for 2009, when my cousin unexpectedly emailed me with the homestead information. Now we both have our websites up and running. Visit Paige's life and career coaching website at www.lifecoachpaige.com Check out the services she offers, she has been such a great coach, counselor, and friend in my life, I am sure everyone could benefit from her services.

Alright, so not such a short post, huh? But I felt divinely inspired to write it. Remember how I told you about that feeling I get when God inspires something in my life? I can honestly say the words just flowed freely out of me, to the point of where my whole body is shaking, because I felt the God's power behind my words. Who had God brought into your life for a reason?

The Windy City: delays, spices, and love

I am back from Chicago. Here is the recap of how it all went down...

Day 1: Departure

On Friday I woke up around 4am, since Jubin's family and I had a 6am flight. We got on the first plane, which unfortunately never took off due to sleeting in Chicago. We desperately tried to switch our flight. At one point when Jubin's dad was flustered he asked for my boarding pass in Malayalam, before realizing he needed to speak English. We shared a good laugh over that. We were able to take a later flight which left Chicago around 9:45, and landed in Baltimore around 12:30, but we were delayed there for a while and eventually landed in Chicago. There was only a 2 hour window in Chicago before it got super foggy, so we were really blessed that we were able to get there. Everyone's main objective was to get Jubin there and then we would worry about the rest of us. We got a standby flight for her at 9:15. Right as we were about to board the 9:45 flight, they called her for the earlier flight which was also a direct flight. She ran to that gate, only to be told they were wrong and that the plane was full. She ran quickly back to our gate to rejoin us. She had called saying she was coming back, and I admired her dad as he stood at the front of the plane telling the pilot and flight attendants, "You will not leave without my daughter. This plane will not takeoff without her. It is not her fault this happened." She did eventually make it, after getting re-entered in the system, since her boarding pass became invalid because the computer thought she was on the other flight. So despite the fact that a two hour plane ride took ten hours from start to finish, we were just so happy to get there. Other members of the family and friends were re-routed all day. 100 flights were cancelled to O'Hara airport and 35 were cancelled to Midway on Friday. The pastor who was leading the engagement was one of the people that we didn't know if he would make it. That was upsetting but Jubin's family has so much faith that they knew it would be ok. Her sister and brother-in-law's flight from Buffalo was cancelled, and there weren't anymore flights for Friday or Saturday. So they decided to drive around eight or nine hours overnight to get there. They arrived around 6 am on Saturday, but everyone was so happy they made it. Despite all the weather problems most of the guests were able to make it to the ceremony.

When we arrived we went to Jonathan's parents' house where his mom had a lot of food waiting for us. We all gobbled it up, before realizing that was just a snack and that we were going for dinner next. One of the members of Jonathan's family's church had a huge gathering with lots of food. This allowed time for a lot of us to meet one another before the ceremony.

Day 2: Jubin and Jonathan's Engagement Ceremony

Jubin and I shared a hotel room and we woke up as early as we could the morning of the ceremony. We worked on her makeup together, and then her future sister-in-law Joanne picked us up for Jubin's hair appointment. They pulled her hair up and back into a bun. She wore a beautiful red sari. Jubin is so naturally beautiful, and doesn't need to do much with her hair or makeup. But it was a special occassion, and in the words of Jon, she looked "so beautiful." I sat with some of the youth from the church who I met the night before for most of the ceremony. The ceremony began at 11am. We had some small appetizers and then the ceremony began. In the beginning, there was a lot of song and prayer as everyone worshipped God for bringing the two of them together. The couple sits on high chairs on a stage, while different speakers and singers go to the podium. Then, the presiding pastor spoke to everyone introducing Jonathan and Jubin to everyone. This pastor actually baptized Jubin in her teens and is the head of Jon's church in Florida. That is just one example of many of the connections that have been discovered about these two. Then both fathers went up to the podium and spoke about how they want their children to be married. Jubin's dad announced the wedding date officially for June 27th. Then Jon, Jubin, and their dads signed a betrothal agreement. After that, we had some dinner, and more prayers and songs. Then an elder from Jonathan's church spoke on his behalf explaining how he is such a gentle and caring man and how he will make a great husband. Two of his friends also shared stories about how great he is. Then, Jubin's cousin gave a tearful description of how she and Jubin have been together for their whole lives, including their births and early childhoods in India. Both girls actually lived in India with their grandparents when their parents first moved to America, so they share a special bond. Then, both fathers introduced their family members to one another. Jubin's dad included me in his introductions, and I beemed because I felt so honored to be considered an honorary family member. After the ceremony, there were lots of prayers and well wishes for the happy couple.

After the ceremony, we went back to our rooms to change our clothes. Then all the youth went ice-skating. I think we all enjoyed a little freedom and leisure time. There was a lot of flooding in Chicago so the parking lot was deep with water. We were all slipping walking in. I didn't fall fully, but I caught myself and got mud on my coat, pocketbook, and sneakers. Oh well, it will wash off. I haven't been skating in a long time and it felt great out on the ice. Poor Jubin and her siblings have never gone, so they mostly hugged the walls, but I think we all had a good time. Then we went out for pizza which was delicious. We had been eating non-stop Indian food so I really enjoyed that!

Day 3: Church and relaxing

We went to Jonathan's family's church and it was a great experience. I was so tired and it was really long (from 9:45-12:00), but it was a great service. The Indian women need to wear veils to cover their heads. Jubin explained it not as a means of submission but rather out of respect that Jesus is the head of the church and the men are the church leaders. First, Jon's dad prayed, then Jonathan preached a little bit and his message was great. Then they have an open forum of sorts, where any male can call out a song they want everyone to sing, or speak a prayer or message. Then the members share the bread and the wine. I didn't take any since it wouldn't be proper being I am Catholic, but it wasn't a big deal. Then the guest pastor from Florida shared a message from the Bible. At one point, I missed which verse he said and I looked at the Jubin's mom's Bible and the women next to me, but both ladies had Bibles written in Malayalam, one of the languages of South India. It was really funny. Then we shared some delicious lunch together and cake for one of the uncle's birthdays and a cake for Jon and Jubin.

After that, I went with Jubin and Jon to pack up since I would be staying at a relative's house for the last night, since our flight was so early. I enjoyed that private time with them. While they are still learning so much about each other, watching them fall in love is beautiful to witness. The way Jubin tries so hard to look good for Jon, the way he looks at her, and the way they tease one another are just a few examples. At one point Jubin was in the bathroom and Jon and I were talking about my ability to make Jubin laugh uncontrollably. He told me he is a little jealous and has been trying his hardest to make her laugh like that too, because he loves to hear her laugh, but that hasn't happened fully yet. I told him he'll get there, as they get more comfortable with one another.

Then we rented a movie to watch at Jonathan's house. Myself, Jubin, Jonathan, her sister, brother-in-law, Jon's sister, brother, and cousin all watched the latest Mummy movie. His mom is so sweet and set-up all kinds of snacks for us. The funny thing was most of us fell asleep halfway through since we were all so exhausted.

After the movie, we went back to the house where Jubin's parents were staying. That family cooked us a nice dinner, and we just enjoyed spending time together again. It was a little awkward for me that night, because that was the house I was staying in without Jubin. We were so used to being constantly together that when it was time for her to leave, she forgot and told me to put my shoes and coat on. We hugged and I told her we need to get together before school starts for her again. I went to bed soon after that.

Day 4: Heading home

I tried to find an alarm clock on my cell phone but I couldn't figure it out. I set my I-pod instead but I must have done something wrong because it never went off. Jubin's mom said they wanted to leave at 4:45am and that if they didn't see my light on they would wake me. Well she knocked on my door at 4:40 and I scrambled to get ready. I threw on clothes and was ready by 4:50 but we left the house around 5am. We arrived at the airport around 5:30 for our 6:15 flight. The airport was absolutely packed! We waited forever to check our bags and pass through security. We finished at security around 6:10 and ran to through the airport, to the farthest gate. Jubin's brother and dad were able to run ahead of us and hold the plane, but we were pretty much the last ones to get on. We all had to sit separated, but the main thing was we made it and got home safely.

I called Jubin when I got home and she told me she misses me. I told her the same. I got very used to being an honorary Indian these past few days. I love the closeness of their family and how everyone is pretty much almost related to someone else or knows someone that someone else knows, etc. I made some new friends, and was so happy to be there to support someone who has done so much for me. I got to experience what it feels like to be a race minority for the first time in my whole life, and I think it was a good experience to walk in someone else's shoes. I felt a little out of place at points, but everyone we were with tried so hard to make me comfortable, including Jubin and Jon's families, and all of their friends and families. They mostly spoke English in front of me, warned me everytime we ate which foods might be too spicy, and I was always included in their prayers. I also have a deeper appreciation for the Indian Christian culture. I loved how seriously they take their faith. They pray aloud, as a family multiple times a day. Before a meal they bless the food and the hands that made it, before traveling they ask for journey mercies, and I value the respect the children have for their elders. Someone might question a situation like Jubin's, getting engaged to someone after only a few months. But after this weekend I can understand why it works. Their community is so strong and tight-knit, that if you find someone whose family your family trusts, it will be a good match. They knew enough about each other's families to know that they would work well together. Its hard to understand from an outside perspective, but I think their choices should be respected. They prayed so much about all of it, and their prayers were truly answered from the moment Jubin caught Jonathan's eye. Sure they will have their tough times, like any marriage, but the fact that they have their faith to back them up, I truly believe they will make it through anything. The divorce rate is low if not non-existent in Jubin's community. Some might ask but are they all happy, and I would say yes. I witnessed so many couples, young and old, with so much love and concern for one another this weekend. Because there is a third member in their relationship, God, they really have the strength to make it through anything. They put God first, then one another, and lastly themselves, so I think they may have discovered a formula that works. And in this country where the divorce rate is up around 50% , I think they are doing just fine.

Continued prayers and blessings upon both Jubin and Jonathan, and I am so glad to have had this experience...

Jubin and I on the plane.

The happy couple! Isn't Jubin's sari beautiful!

The honored couple.

Me with the happy couple.

Closer-up

Me and the future bride.
Our close-up.

New friends!

My dinner table.

Look at those smiles!


Jubin's tiarra and all the bobby pins I pulled out of her head after the ceremony! We thought it looked liked a giant spider.

At church the next day.

Back Row- Visamma (Jubin's mom), Jubin, Grace (Jon's mom)
Front Row- George (Jubin's dad), Jonathan, Jon's dad (I don't know how to spell his name :)