Cleaning up my clutter

So today I tackled a task that I have not been looking forward to: cleaning out my closet. I have been putting this off for a lot of reasons, but mostly because I didn’t want to face the emotional baggage connected to my old clothes. See, I haven’t thrown out one piece of clothing or one pair of shoes since my mom passed away. My mom was my shopping buddy, so each item brought back memories of when we had purchased it, or the last time I had worn it in her presence. However, when I was shuffling clothes between my closet, drawers, and numerous storage bins, I knew the time had come. What truly inspired me to face this daunting chore was that I had gone shopping with Kate, Paige, and Kathleen last week. It was so much fun to shop with girls, something I hadn’t done in a while. They were so great, grabbing me sizes, telling me honestly what looked good and what didn’t, and I had so much fun. They helped me add some great new pieces to my teaching wardrobe. I absolutely loved shopping with them! It was so great for me to have some girl time. I’ve tried clothes shopping with my brother or Dad, and it is just not the same. I remember one time shopping for a new winter coat with my Dad. We both seemed so lost. He tried to be helpful, but he’s a guy, so he didn’t really know what to suggest. And as mean as this sounds, I resented his presence because I wished my Mom was there shopping with me. We have since gotten better at shopping together, but it will never be the same as shopping with my Mom. But shopping with the girls last week was so enjoyable and carefree for me, something that doesn’t happen very often. Because even when I am having an enjoyable time, there is always a part of me that aches for my Mom. However, Kathleen, Paige, and Kate were so great, and I hope they will shop with me again sometime. I have some gift certificates waiting to be spent, so let me know when you’re free ladies…

So I cleaned out my closet and it actually wasn’t too bad. I decided to keep some things that hold memories, and to donate the rest. I kept things such as my red sweater that I wore on the last Christmas my family celebrated as a whole. I kept the yellow t-shirt that was my last birthday present from my mom. I put all these special items in a storage bin, so that I can look at them when I want to. And I felt good knowing that the other items will help some people in need.

I was on such a roll with the cleaning that I reorganized my bookshelf, went through my shoes, and cleaned out my makeup. I had acquired quite a bit of makeup over the years, and again I hadn’t thrown out any in a long time. When I went through one of my older makeup bags, I came across an old cover girl powder and a cherry blistex chapstick. Both of these were standard items for my Mom. I opened up the compact and took a sniff, and it smelt just like my Mom’s cheeks. Then I put some of the chapstick on, and the smell also reminded me of her. I threw out a lot of makeup, but I kept these two, so that I can close my eyes and sniff them. When I do that, I feel like my Mom is sitting right next to me.

Ultimately, my cleaning process turned out to be quite therapeutic. It brought back a lot of memories, but I feel like it was a good thing. My room is neater, cleaner, and more organized. Oh, and the other thing I did, I decorated my bedroom door with pictures of those I love.